Miracle baby continued...

I called my OB to set up our first appointment right after I got the positive test!  Waiting for that first appointment is the longest wait ever.  I couldn't feel the baby yet and I didn't look pregnant yet so I was just praying that I was still pregnant.  When we got to our appointment (11/9/16) we waited forever to be called back, typical right?  Ugh.  They finally called us back, and was confused why we were even there.  They said it was just for my regular pap smear and check up.  Seriously?  I was so mad because I had been going there for every month for the last year, then finally got pregnant and was excited to go in and they didn't even know why. But at least we got to see our sweet baby! 

 Not knowing why we were there was kind of the last straw for me, I was done with our OB.  Our good friend was also pregnant and just started going to a midwife that she loved.  We decided to go check out their clinic and see what it was all about.  I am all about hospital births and drugs so I was kind of nervous I wouldn't get to do anything I wanted.  Boy was I wrong.  We were called back right away and got to talk to one of the midwifes (out of 4) right away.  She sat with us and answered all of our questions and we never felt rushed.  We loved her and all of the things they offered at the clinic so we signed the paper work right there!  I loved the thought of having my doctor actually there for my babies birth.  My first dr. came and broke my water for Jenson and then I saw her a week later for my check up and that was it... It was so strange to me.  I am excited to have a midwife that is there for me and my best intentions.  I was 10 weeks when we went to meet with the midwife so before we left we decided to do a genetic testing so we could find out what we were having early!  The results should come within 2 weeks, so it was perfect timing because we were going home for vacation and that's how we were going to tell our families! 

I was starting to get worried because it had already been 3 weeks before we heard the results from the test.  Even our midwife thought it was strange we had not gotten the results back yet.  I knew it was supposed to be 1-2 weeks so I kept having this uneasy feeling that something came back weird with the test.  When we got the call we were in Idaho at Babe's parents house.  Jenson was down for a nap and it was just us and his sister there at the time.  I jumped up and ran into the room with Babe, put the phone on speaker and waited to hear the news! She said that the test took so long because the test came back positive for some genetic issues.  She made sure we wanted to know the sex of the baby because the issues would give it away.  I kind of went numb and Babe took over.  "It's a girl!"  she said, but she tested positive for something called Turners Syndrome (a genetic defect in which affected women have only one X chromosome, causing developmental abnormalities and infertility.)  She went through and told us all of the things that can come with TS, heart and lung defects, infertility (most likely not even having kids because she wouldn't haver periods or be able to ovulate), webbed neck, short in stature, and a few more.  What we discovered was that the majority of cases (only girls can have it)  don't even make it to birth.  The chances of still birth or to miscarry go way up.  It was so good that we were home with family for when the news came.  I had all these ideas of how to tell our family what we were having, I wanted to do a fun gender reveal but it just didn't seem right anymore.  We told my SIL it was a girl, then the BUT... came and I lost it.  I couldn't even wrap my head around it.  I was so thankful that Babe was there to talk to the midwife and be able to explain everything to me better after we hung up.  After a few hours of constant tears, telling our parents and looking up TS on the internet (don't do that... haha)  we called a genetic councilor to talk about our case. 

We were previously given a 95% chance that the test was right.  I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that our perfect little girl was going to have so many trials in her life.  The genetic councilor was able to give us better news.  According to my age and how far along I already was in pregnancy our chance of her actually having it went down to only 5% (what a difference!!)  We knew there wasn't anything we could do about it and stress wouldn't help.  We set up an appointment with a specialist for when we got back to Kansas and then decided to put it out of our mind as much as possible.  

I remember going to walmart and seeing this adorable outfit, we didn't have anything up to that point but I felt like I just had to get something so I had some hope that I wouldn't loose the baby.  It's the weirdest feeling trying not to get to attached but still keeping hope that everything will be okay.  Every week I keep the baby I got more hope, chances of miscarriage were going down.  

When we got back from vacation we had our specialists appointment.  We talked to another genetic councilor, she gave us all our options but felt very positive about our situation.  I then got to have another ultrasound,  She was still so little that it was hard to get a good look at her heart and lungs (where the most concern would be)  they also looked for fluid pockets around her neck, all signs of TS.  They couldn't find anything but wanted us to come back for our 20 week appointment and get a better look.  We had a few midwife appointments in between, but those were mostly just answering questions and checking to make sure there was still a strong heart beat.  

We had to move our 20 week ultra sound with the specialist up a few days because of my grandpas funeral.  We decided it would be fun for Jenson to go with us to this appointment so he could see his "baby sister" and he was soo excited.  He kept looking at the screen and would say "awe she's so cute!" and "I wob baby sister"  The ultrasound tech was so nice and even printed off his own picture that says "Hi big brother!!" on it, he still carries it around with him and asks to see baby sister all the time.  The appointment was so positive.  They couldn't see anything out of the normal, they even said we no longer have to go back to them and can just continue with our midwife from now on. 

 I got  a call from my midwife the day before we were to fly out for the funeral.  She mentioned that she was talking to another company that does genetic testing.  They offered to do another test for free so that she could compare the 2 tests and see if they test positive for the same things or what is different.  It was a good thing it was for free too because it's a $6, 000 blood test!  The difference was they separate my blood and the babies blood unlike the first test where it really could be me with a mosaic TS genes.  I was trying to not get my hopes up for the results but I was still praying everything would come back normal.  We got the results a 2 weeks later that everything came back negative in the testing!!  She didn't even test positive for TS!  I still can't believe it!  It doesn't mean that she doesn't have it still but we will just get her tested when she is born to make sure.  But as of now we are moving forward like nothing is even wrong.  What a blessing that is, such a answer to priesthood blessings and countless prayers.  I don't think I will ever take for granted a healthy child again.  

 I am now 23 weeks and have finally felt her moving around.  It had been so long since I felt it and was not sure that's what it was.  But the other night I was sitting on the couch with my hands on my stomach and felt her full on kick (not just flop around)  the next day Babe even got to feel her!  Ahh what a answer to prayers she is, and that she can be healthy and growing like she should.  I have defiantly not been as sick this pregnancy like I was with Jenson but baby girl sure knows how to make a memorable beginning for us, I just hope this stubborn little girl doesn't come out with red hair like her brother... haha  

I know that the Lord answers prayers, even if they are not in the way we thought they would be.  He is our ultimate comforter, all things are possible through him!  I can't believe we are already on the down slope of this pregnancy!  

^^ 20 weeks ^^ 

^^ 23 weeks ^^

Our miracle baby

I wasn't sure how much of our story I wanted to share but I realized that Infertility is not something to suffer in silence with.  It's hard and very lonely.  There were time that even when Babe was there I felt alone, and broken.  I felt like my body couldn't do the thing it was supposed to.  What was I doing wrong?  We tried for a year and a half to get pregnant with Jenson, so we started trying for another one earlier thinking it would be easier for us, but if not we had some time.  After a year of trying for baby #2 on our own we decided to go to my OBGYN for some help.  He ran some tests, and did some blood work.  We found out that I don't ovulate every month, and when I do I have very low progesterone so the chance of getting pregnant and staying pregnant were pretty slim.  He put me on a few other drugs but they were not really doing anything so I stopped taking them.  Every month I would track my "ovulation" take some progesterone then go and get a blood test to see if my levels were high enough.  Normally your progesterone is somewhere around a 15  mine was around a 2-4.  A few months I would get up into the 20s and would be positive I would get pregnant.  And still nothing.  We had Babe go and get tested as well, he came back with a low sperm count and he could do some surgery to help but it wasn't guaranteed and if it worked it could take up to 2 years to even boost his sperm.  So we decided to just continue with tracking my periods and taking the progesterone pills.  After a blood tests every month and trying the pills, I was getting more depressed.  My OB decided to do a 3 hour glucose test to see if I was having issue with my insulin.  If you know me you know I HATE needles and getting my blood drawn.  I have terrible veins and they have a hard time finding them.  I was dreading the test but it's crazy what you will do for even the hope of having a baby. The test came back normal, so we were pretty much right back to where we started.  I loved my doctor as a person but was not satisfied with  the service we were getting.  I never got my test results back and I felt like I was having to pull teeth to even try something else besides progesterone. 

You always here to "not stress, it will happen when it happens.." okay thats WAY more easier said then done.  I think we were stressing about it way to much that it was hindering our chances of getting pregnant.  After some prayers and a leap of faith I decided to stop all the drugs I had been given from my OB.  With Babe in school for chiropractic we decided to go the more natural route.  If it didn't end up working then at least we tried it, just like with the other medications.  We found some amazing chiropractors close to our house and all started to go see them.  They took some x-rays of my spine and neck.  It was such a relief to see that my issues were not all in my head, my body was messed up.  She explained to me that one of the reasons I could be having troubles is because I was so out of wack that my body was giving everything it could to my more vital organs (making my ovaries not work as well as they should be.)   She obviously explained it more eloquent then that but you get the idea.  We both started getting adjusted 3 times a week and I could already tell a difference.  I wasn't having head aces and my lower back pain was almost non existent. After 2 months of faithful adjustments we had a sit down consolation to talk about our infertility.  

We talked about some of the main issues of infertility, the most being stress.  She gave us some really good ideas on how to help eliminate stress.  Just 2 days prior we had a meeting with one of Babes teachers about essential oils and decided to buy a kit of them to defuse.  Which was a blessing because that was one of the things our chiropractor mentioned.  We decided we needed to make our home a calm and safe place to be.  We started defusing some lavender to help us calm down for bed time, I was reading some conference talks, we got better about eating real meals, and playing together more as a family- enjoying our time now instead of always looking to the future and seeing what we were missing.  Not getting pregnant every month was still so heartbreaking but it was more do able.  I also got a Clary Calm blend and would put it all over my stomach at bed time.  

Just for a time frame we had been a little over 2 and a half years trying for baby #2 by now.  We were both feeling so much better about what we were doing now then what we had tried from the OB.  We had a really good schedule going and things were looking up for us because after about a month of adjustments and oils I took a pregnancy test!!

I knew my period was supposed to come any day now but I just couldn't wait any longer.  I took a test knowing I would see 2 lines.  I waited the 2 minutes and BAM- negative.  I was heart broken but was so used to only seeing one line it was not that big of a surprise.  I told Babe I wasn't pregnant and got ready for my period to come. I waited for 3 days and still nothing, so not trying to get my hopes up I took the last pregnancy test we had.  But this time to my complete shock I saw a second line.  Could this really be happening?  Was my test so old that it's false?  I woke up Jenson and we ran to the store to get another one.  I took it and again there was a second line.  I wanted to burst out in tears but I couldn't even wrap my head around it.  I just sat there in the bathroom looking at the test and making sure the line wouldn't disappear.  I went to my room and dropped to my knees and thanked my Heavenly Father for the chance to finally be pregnant again,  and even if I wasn't able to keep it for the hope of seeing 2 lines again!    

A few months before I had bought Jenson a "most awesome big brother" shirt (in a few sizes up, just hoping I would be pregnant by then!) I put it on him and waited for Babe to get home.  It took him FOREVER to read the shirt.  He was even playing on the ground with him, tickling him, and chasing him around.  Finally I just told him to read Jenson's shirt.  He was so confused because just 2 days earlier I told him I wasn't pregnant.  Still I think we were both just in shock.  We went to Shawnee Mission Park to go walk around and enjoy our little secret as a family of 3, soon to be 4!

The next day we called and told our parents the good news.  We knew that so many people were praying for us to finally get pregnant so we wanted some prayers for the baby now.  It was the first time that it actually seemed real.  I was facetiming my parents asking them about their summer plans because they were going to go on a cruise and I wanted to make sure it wasn't right when I was due.  I asked them if they would be willing to come up in June when I had a baby.  I broke down and finally all the tears that I had felt inside me the last fews days came streaming out.  It was finally real to me, I was actually pregnant.  After years of trying our little miracle baby was on the way.  

Dallas trip- last day

On our last day we hung around Highland Village.  We hit up a hobby lobby and a awesome store called 5 Below (where we found tons of souvenirs for everyone back home! 

Mindy used to live in Texas and loved Whataburger so that was a must for lunch! 

After lunch we went back to the house, made thank you card to put all over the car we used, and finished trying to cram everything we bought into our bags! 

It was bitter sweet dropping everyone off at the airport, but I think we were ready to go home and be with our families!  April can't come soon enough when we got to go and see them all again!

I was dropped off at Love Field airport where my southwest flight was delayed for hours, then had the worse turbulence I had ever experienced in my life. My butt left the seat several times, people were screaming, and the flight attendants had to drop to the ground in the middle of the aisles just to hold on.  Flying though storms can be crazy scary-  I was just glad I never blew chunks! haha  I was so happy to finally be off the plane and kiss and hug my 2 favorite boys!!

What a fun filled trip it was, I can't wait for our next one- where should we go next time? We were thinking maybe Seattle or Oregon coast?!

A video of the trip!

Dallas day 4

Sunday- A day for worship and relaxation!  Their church started at 8:30 so we after church I enjoyed a nice long nap! :) 

 My aunts friend let us borrow their suburban for the entire time we were there.  It was so fun to be all together in one car, and not have to worry about the money to rent one!  It sure was a blessing! 

My aunt has THE BEST plates around.  I love all of the different varieties- when I have a house with actual storage I am going to start my own collection!! We also took a nice Sunday stroll around the trails they have by their house!

Sunday is for baking- even if grandmas rolls never rose they were still yummy! I personally think Chelsi's  M&M cookies were the best!

Sunday game night! 

Dallas trip day 3

Our Saturday started off in a splash when we decided to do the polar bear plunge into the freezing cold pool water! 

After a nice warm shower we got ready and went to go see our little cousin at his soccer game (that my uncle coaches!)  On the way there their car died at the gas station so after the game we came to help jump start it! 

After a bathroom and snack break we headed out for more shopping! We hit up what we liked to call he "hooker boot store" where most of the shoes were all under $10!  to bad they don't really carry shoes for those of us with huge feet, but some of us found some steals!  I for one liked walking around and checking out all the awesome shoes!

For lunch we were excited to the out the most unique Mcdonald's... only to find out they had just remodeled it a few years before...

The Dallas temple was so pretty, and it was nice to see some soft green grass (red ant free) haha  We were going to go in but I had been sick all week and I still had crazy nose congestion and couldn't stop coughing and sneezing so we decided it would be best to just go around the outside! 

Up next the Gallaria Dallas Mall-  This thing was 3 stories tall, with hundreds of shops (okay I don't really know how many but I would bet there was that much!)  We had fun shopping for some mother of the bride dresses for my aunt (we can't wait for Ashlee to get married in April!!)

Pretzels for the win!

From pregnancy and sickness crap I was pretty good at spotting all the chairs and couches in all the shops we went to- I did however find a really cute dress for the little miss!  

^^ Dressing room selfi! ^^

The whole night crew- we would ship Nathan off to a friends house all day and my Uncle and Becca would work all day so nights were fun to have everyone together for dinner and games! (oh and lots of popcorn and ice cream!)